team*josh

Silly Politicians

2009-07-30T10:33:00.002-05:00

Instead of spending all this time on health care, why don't they tackle some real issues. Like tipping. Every day Americans go to a restaurant and have no idea if they are tipping enough, not enough or too much. It's time to give the whole system an overhaul. When the average American goes out to eat, the price on the menu should be the price they pay. Instead we are stuck in a perpetual conundrum trying to figure out how much 10% of the bill is, wait should it be 15%? Or maybe 20%? If I tip too little the server is going to hate me and think I'm cheap. If it's too much the others will feel guilty for not tipping enough. Why is it percentage based anyway. If I get a burger and fries for $5 and the guy next to me gets a golden steak for $1,000 should my tip be $1 and his be $20 even though we had the exact same service?

The current system is fucked and I think it's time for the govenment to do something useful for a change and fix it!

Fine Art

2009-03-12T08:43:00.002-05:00

No, they are not penises, they are thumbs.

Snowball 3

2008-09-17T11:34:00.003-05:00

I have a plant, It's name is Snowball 3

I started as one leaf, now it's 3
Soon it will be as big as a tree

Behold Quadzilla!

2008-02-14T07:22:00.005-06:00

What do you do when you have this sitting on your counter?

Feed them to Quadzilla!

'zilla in action

Merry Christmas!

2007-11-29T08:12:00.000-06:00

Finally put up my tree at work!

My tree even has lights this year!!!

Decorations include: green Bat, Piston from a small engine, landscaping spike, Jagermeister bottle, glow in the dark skull, corona ornament, red pine cone and candy cane. It's all topped off with a home made star! Some of the things hanging out near the tree are a white elephant, The Grinch and a pair of lederhosen that hop around.

A Guy's Gotta Eat

2007-11-13T15:58:00.000-06:00

8 point buck.

National Bitch Day

2007-11-08T07:11:00.001-06:00

In honor of TEAM*JESS, I would like to formally declare November 8th as National Bitch Day. This day will be honored by celebrating the bitches in our lives.

That one person at work who's always in a bad mood. Today is the day you walk by and say, "Hi! Happy Bitch Day!" The cashier who has never once smiled or tried to be nice, "Good morning, Happy Bitch Day!" I have a feeling Snoop will be a busy man today. "Happizzle Biatch Day!" He's got tons of bitches. I also think that this will be a big day in the homosexual communities. Lots of bitches there. "You Bitch! Happy Bitch Day!"

So get out there and enjoy the bitches that make our lives exciting and miserable all at once! This is their day so let them have it!

Pheasant & Fish

2007-11-05T21:49:00.000-06:00

Pheasant.

Fish (Halibut direct from Alaska to be exact)

Some Things Should NEVER Happen!

2007-09-25T07:27:00.000-05:00

Just as a parent should never have to bury their child. There are a few things in everyone's life that should never happen. This weekend one of those things happened to me. The bar I frequent closed it doors for the last time. The bar where I've spent the past few years for happy hour has shut down. The bar where I've spent countless hours deveoping relationships with some great people is no longer in business.

Old Chicago in Downtown Minneapolis is gone. My name will no longer be on the wall at a bar. 4 tours will be all I complete. The only consolation is that I got our mug.

On the mug you will see 4 plaques from me and 2 other regulars at happy hour and 1 each from 2 who join us whenever possible. All together representing over 1500 beers drank. The mug also has the signatures of all the people we got to know over the years. Of all the things I'm going to miss at Old Chicago, I will definately miss the people the most. They're the ones turned going to happy hour after work from a good time into a great time!

RIP Old Chicago

The SOB Hit Me!

2007-08-14T09:06:00.000-05:00

So, I'm just hanging out at home on a friday night when I get a phone call. It's my bud. The vehicle he's in broke down about a mile down the road at a gas station from my house. So, I figure what the heck, I'll go help him out.

My roommate lets me use his new truck to head down there. I pull in to the gas station and notice a white Cadillac Escalade pull into a parking spot rather quickly. "dude must be in a hurry to get a pack of smokes" I think. Then I proceed to drive behind him on my way to where my bud is. Then all of the sudden the Escalade's back up lights come on and the dude driving HAMMERS on the gas. I tried to accelerate past him quick, but to no avail, SMACK right in the back of the new truck.

My bud, his bro and their friend were all witnesses along with some guy at a gas pump who came over and told me,"I saw the whole thing, let me know if you need anything."

Got the info from the Escalade and my roommate is handling the phone calls. I had to talk to an insurance person giving my statement on what happened. Here's the kicker, the insurance person said that normally in gas station accidents they try to split the fault 70/30 or 80/20.

What the FUCK?! This dude didn't look behind him and hit the gas and I could be 20% at fault. FUCK THAT! It's 100/0. What kind of corrupted industry could say it's someone's fault for being hit by some jack ass who doesn't look where he is going?! Oh yeah, the insurance industry. Sucking money out of people each month for years upon years, then when it comes time to pay out, they don't want to. Hey fuckers, I pay you well over $1,000 a year in vehicle insurance alone and you're too fucking cheap to basically give me my money back. Fuck you and your horse. Some day karma's going to come back and kick your ass.

Cya Later Suckers!

2007-07-19T13:43:00.000-05:00

Mysterious

2007-06-28T09:28:00.001-05:00

Have you ever wondered who that person is who keeps emailing, calling, text messaging, etc.?

Yeah me too.

It's freaky. It's like that person knows me, but I have no clue who it is.

p.s. TEAM*JESS sucks

RJoe's Thoughts

2007-05-24T07:26:00.000-05:00

that is all

Fuck the Twins!

2007-04-12T13:40:00.000-05:00

Well, the cry babies finally got their way. The pack of whiners knows as the Twins are going to build a new stadium. Screwing up a lot of things.

1st off, the stadium is going on the cheapest parking lot near downtown. So now, because of the Twins, people will have to pay $2 more per day to park. Fuck the Twins.

2nd, they had to raise taxes to pay for the stadium. People now have to pay more money for beer to support the Twins. You would think a multi-million dollar franchise would be able to support themselves, but no, they need to take money way from good honest citizens to fund a stadium which will only be a headache to those paying the tax. Fuck the Twins.

3rd, Traffic is bad enough as it is downtown. Putting the stadium in its current location is going to make it even harder to get to and from that area of downtown. Not to mention the commuter train that's going in is taking away 2 or 3 lanes of traffic. Fuck the Twins.

4th, Bars in the area of the ballpark are going to be crowded as hell on game days. Which makes it harder to find a seat, order a beer and get the bill. Not exactly my idea of enjoyment in a bar. Fuck the Twins.

5th, there’s probably more, but I’m too pissed to think about them right now.

To summarize:
The Twins are fucking with my parking lot, my drinking time and my beer. AND they’re making me pay more for it. FUCK THE TWINS!!!

Side notes:
People say that with a new stadium, more revenue will be generated. Thus the tax is like an investment. Well, unless they buy me a case of beer or buy me a t-shirt I’m going to see nothing from the tax. Citizens aren’t getting a return on investment, it’s the government who’s basically taking our money and building a stadium, so they can get more money off of the people who go to the games. They already fuck you in the ass on taxes downtown, now there’s going to be even more. What a crock of shit.

You know what; I’m a pretty laid back guy. I don’t care if the Twins want a new spot to play a game. But when they start fucking with my beer, I’m going to get pissed. Those fucking guys make millions of dollars a year and they can’t afford a new stadium, so they make me pay for it. Well fuck you too. I want a new car. Every time a Twin takes a drink of Gatorade, I want 3 cents. 2 can play this game you bastards.

And do not get me started on the price of beer at games. You would think its liquid gold or something.

Black Eight

2007-02-28T14:21:00.000-06:00

Alright all you poor bastards who want to spend a night drinking like you have a job.

Alright all you rich fucks who want to know what it's like to be a real person.

Go get yourself some Black Eight

It's basically a mix of OE 800 and Guinness. Drank in a 40 and enjoyed by people from all walks of life. TEAM*JESS can't handle the Black Eight, therefore I recommend it for everyone.

Join us DC Dan!

VD

2007-02-14T08:50:00.000-06:00

Gay Sauce

2007-02-02T07:40:00.000-06:00

I know this girl. She palys WoW. gay sauce!

She is moving to Canada. total gay sauce!!

I made this bottle for her since she loves gay sauce!!!

TEAM*JESS created the logo. very "intune" with gay sauce!!!

The Sheik

2006-12-19T13:14:00.000-06:00

I was recently involved in a conversation in which The Shiek of Baghdad agreed with me.

Adnan also had some very interesting things to say about the current state of affairs in Iraq. Along with many other observations. It was great to hear about the war from someone who lived in Iraq. The best part was that his story wasn't filtered by the media. Adnan spoke straight from the heart about his personal thoughts on what's going on out there and how things came to be. It's a very interesting story. He did author a book called The Sheik of Baghdad: Tales of Celebrity and Terror from Pro Wrestling's General Adnan. I highly recommend the book to anyone who wants to see the truth and not the farse that the media, president and others would have you believe.

My part in the food chain

2006-11-27T15:13:00.000-06:00

I have secured my spot on the top of the food chain. This weekend I harvested a 8 point buck. He tastes good.

The Birth of True Evil

2006-11-08T13:23:00.000-06:00

Today is the day when a terrrible menace was released on soceity. From an early age signs on the tyranny were seen. In normally innocent games a child would play, a way was found to oppress others and force them into submission. This escaladed into institutions of education where the force of evil would countinue it's reign upon the poor constituants. Finally this deceptive beast went world wide and attempted to take over the world.

Happy Birthday Sis!
Founder and Namesake of TEAM*JESS

Coolest Lamp in History

2006-09-25T15:24:00.000-05:00

Check out this lamp I just got! It's cool as shit!

Notice it has a fuckin eagle on it!

Now the lamp would be cool enough with just an eagle, but wait. There's a sail boat on the lamp shade! How insane is that!

I know what you're all thinking. How do I get my hands on a such a fine piece as that? Tough shit, it's not for sale!

Schluetoberfest 2006

2006-09-14T10:08:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year again. The time when the elite social club TEAM*JESS thinks it's better than the anti-social team*josh.

This year TEAM*JESS is even more pathetic than last year. Check out her flyer:

Now check out the team*josh flyer:

Notice the bigger beers, Jagermeister necklace and the X burned into her head. TEAM*JESS might as well have a "Dry" party!

Jagermeister and Gwar

2006-08-11T13:52:00.000-05:00

How many people can say they have a HUGE Jagermeister flag signed by members of Gwar hanging in their living room?

team*josh can:

Where's TEAM*JESS's Jager flag?

Gotta Park Somewhere

2006-07-07T08:36:00.000-05:00

So I grew out of my old garage and built a new one. Here it is!

Any TEAM*JESS member is officially UNinvited to come check out the garage! losers.

Be a Movie Star

2006-06-16T09:07:00.000-05:00

So my friend is casting people to play extras in a movie. I'm not Hollywood, but I think that means you will have an extra special role in the film. Either way some of the movie will be filmed in a bar. Which means you get to spend 8 hours in a bar with little to do except wait for your turn in front of the camera. Sounds like fun to me!

Here's the info:
We are seeking people of all types, 21 and over to beextras in the SAG independent movie “Regular Joe.”The movie is set to film June 24 through July 30 invarious metro locations (Minneapolis). Anyone interested in beingan extra should email katibatch_AT_yahoo.com, please put“Regular Joe extra” in subject line. Include yourname, telephone, email address, and age. There is no monetary compensation, but you will receive copy and credit, meals will be provided.

p.s. For you TEAM*JESS members: change the _AT_ to @ when you send the email. idiots.

TEAM*JESS in cahoots with the Sith!

2006-05-30T10:52:00.000-05:00

Captian Spaulding has something to say about TEAM*JESS

2006-05-23T10:59:00.000-05:00

Here's a Tip. Not that I have a choice.

2006-05-04T08:58:00.000-05:00

Ok, here's what I don't get. A group of people goes to a bar. The beer lady is really slow and being bitchy. Everyone at the table complains about the service. Yet when the bill comes, everyone leaves a tip.

Maybe I'm just confused about the whole concept of tipping, but isn't tipping what you do when you want to reward someone for doing a good job? So why is it when someone does a shitty job, they still get tipped? The only tip they should be getting is, "get out of the service industry". Even someone does an average job, they get a tip. So basically no matter how good or bad of a job you do, you'll get a tip.

So why not just include the tip in the bill and raise the hourly wage of the server? That way the customer can reward the servers who are doing a great job by giving them a tip.

In my perfect world this is how servers would get compensated:
-Bad Server: minimum wage and about to be unemployed.
-Average Server: fair market wage.
-Good Server: fair market wage + tips.

Oh and if it's $5 for a bottle of Mich Golden Draft Light, the tip is included in the price of the beer. Fuck you.

Ways To Save Money

2006-04-07T07:36:00.000-05:00

In the financially hard times, we need to come up with ways to save money around the office.

Here are some ideas.....

pay toilets - .25 to pee .50 to poop (campaign slogan ---- pay to poop)
put a hole in the top of the water cooler – at the end of the day instead of watering the plants just dump the water back into the water cooler.
Turn off lights and use flashlights or candles.
When at cub, the doctors office etc. take pens or what ever is available to stock our supply room

Please let me know if there are any other suggestions

Don't Spam Me!

2006-03-07T10:25:00.000-06:00

Background: I'm our class president and our 10 year is this year and have been working on the planning of the reunion. Ok, So I get this email today:

Greetings Hutchison Class of 96!
My name is Spam Lady with Reunion Makers, Inc.
Can you believe it’s been 10 years since you walked the halls of Hutchison High? Its reunion time and Reunion Makers would like to help!
To get started is very simple. We need alumni for the Spirit Committee and someone to spearhead the effort. If you are interested in either of these opportunities, please contact me directly. My toll free number is 800-555-5555 or my e-mail address is Removed for privacy@reunionmakers.com. The person who volunteers to be our official contact will be compensated with two (2) complimentary tickets to the Reunion Makers event and a free Gold Membership to Classmates.com. This package is valued at approximately $300.00.
Reunion Makers is a full service planning company and will handle every detail without taking the control away from you. What does that mean? We will do all of the time consuming work, while you make all of the fun decisions (i.e. where and when to have the event, what food is served, what songs are played, etc.). You will also have the choice of letting us coordinate one event (usually banquet style) or making a weekend of it and letting us plan a Friday Night Mixer and a Saturday Night Banquet. We do this for no money upfront. We make our money exclusively off of ticket sales, which means we are highly motivated to get as many people as possible there. For more information about the services we provide, contact me directly. Again, the toll free number is 800-555-5555 and my e-mail address is Removed for privacy@reunionmakers.com.
We look forward to hearing from you.

I immediately reply:

We are already planning our reunion and would appreciate it if you would send out a 2nd email to all the people from Huchinson High School Class of '96 telling them that the reunion is being planned already and if they have any questions to email me.

Also, any further email regaurding reunion should be approved by me before being sent out to my class. We do not appreciate spam!

Thank you,
RJoe
Class President

Also at that time I sent out an email to all my classmates:

Hey Class! I just got this spam from some bitch and wanted to let everyone know it's bull shit.

Then approximately an hour later an email sent to my classmates again from Spam Lady:

Greetings Hutchinson Class of 96!

Reunion Makers would like to apologize for any confusion our previous marketing e-mail may have caused. We were trying to get a jump start on the 2006 reunion season, but the dedicated members of your class beat us to it!

There is already an event being planned for your 10 year reunion. RJoe, class president is already in the planning stages of your reunion. RJoe's e-mail address is RessurectionJoe@mn.rr.com

Again, we apologize for any confusion our previous e-mail has caused and wish your class the very best at your upcoming reunion.

LMAO!!! How about that?! There was actually a response from Spam Lady sent out to what I would beleive is my whole class. I have a renewed sense of hope for the world.

Another thing that was nice about this is that she most likely sent the email to everyone registered at classmates.com I bunch of addresses I previously didn't have access too since our high school has it's own alumni site (http://www.hutchtigeralumni.com).

I Need a Gay Sugar Daddy

2006-03-02T08:44:00.000-06:00

yep, you read that right, I need a gay sugar daddy. Someone to fund my various endevors. Like if I need a case of beer, he could buy it for me. Or if I was hungry, he could buy me a pizza. Or if I wanted a new motorcycle, he could buy it for me. How awesome would that be. Never to worry about finances again. If I need something, I could just ask my gay sugar daddy to get it for me.

Which makes me think of the other thing I need in my life. A pregnant wife (I'm not sure how I could keep her in a perpetual state of pregnancy, but some smart doctor might). Yeah, someone to bring me to the bar and sober cab me home. If she wanted to hang out while I was at the bar it would be optional. It's not like I'm going to tell my sober cab to leave and come back when I'm hamnerd.

Life would be perfect with these two people by my side. Just think someone to buy you beer and someone to drive you home after you've had too much. Well, except for the whole gay thing. And a wife isn't exactly on my to-do list either.

Simplify Your Life

2006-02-21T09:10:00.000-06:00

Have you ever went to one of those Chinese Buffets, then at the end of the meal, when your bill comes, they give you a fortune cookie? Yeah it's a magic time in a person's life. There sitting before you is a cookie with a tiny piece of paper inside that holds your fortune!

Recently, something amazing happened to me. I got the same fortune twice. Yeah, no kidding. The exact words 2 separate cookies. What, don't believe me? Here's photographic evidence:

So this obviously must be a sign from the Cookie Gods. So I started to think about it. In many ways I have tried to live a simple life and the rewards have been great. Take for example my hair. It used to be somewhat longer. Well one day I was out playing Basket Ball with my bro and my hair kept getting in my eyes. So I went in the house and shaved it off. I shaved it off for a simple reason, by the benefits soon became much more aparent. I no longer had to comb my hair in the morning. Meaning I could sleep in longer, When I wore my stocking cap I didn't have to make sure all my hair was underneat it and not sticking out in some odd way, I went through less shampoo. All of these things make life so much easier and all because I simplified my life by cutting my hair.

Another example. Do you ever go to someone's house and see a lot of dishes, silverware, etc. piled up by the sink? There's an easy solution to that problem. Simplify your life. Only have 1 plate, 1 fork, 1 spoon, 1 etc. Then whenever your done making and eating the meal, simply wash the 1 set of stuff you have and you're done. I garuntee you'll never have a pile of dishes ever again. A great reward for simplifing your life.

This fortune can even relate to some of the more complicated things in life, like relationships. Think about it. What's the simplest? Don't be in a relationship. Remember back when you were a young kid growing up watching cartoons? Remember how simple life was back then? What's the difference between then and now? One of the big things is as people grow older they introduce a foreign element in to thier lives. A significant other. Now not only do they have to take care of themselves, they have to watch their back so as they take care of themselves they don't piss the thier significant other off, all while at the same time taking care of someone else. Basically it creates a whole shitload of problems. Which leads us to 1 conclusion. If you simplify your life by not being in a relationship, you will have a lot less problems and therefore be rewared with a lot more time to watch cartoons.

Life is simple, it's the choices we make that complicate it.

V Day Bullshit

2006-02-07T13:28:00.000-06:00

Yeah, so I've pretty much had enough of this crap. This has got to be the worst holiday of all holidays. Now if you can keep up with this rant, great, if you can't tough shit.

In theory it's a day for a couple to celebrate their love, but it's become a day when the females get pampered, wined and dined. Since when does love mean that the male has to spend money, time and energy on his companion? It should be a day where both spend equal amounts of time, money and energy on each other. It's getting to be more lopsided than weddings.
Think about it, what's the color of the holiday? Pink. How many guys you know like the color pink? How many girls like pink? Case closed it's a female's holiday.
Since I'm on this issue anyway. How many times have you heard the expression "her special day" when someone is talking about a wedding? Total bullshit. It should be "their special day".
It makes some who are not in relationships lonely. Ok, so now not only do they have to deal with the everyday pressure society has put on them, but now they have to go through a whole holiday season that emphasizes it. Who the fuck ever decided you have to be in a relationship to be happy anyway? In everything I've experienced, seen and heard the relationship will never work if both individuals aren't happy with themselves. With all this pressure to hurry into relationships, no wonder so many people get divorced. People have to live with themselves before they can live with others.

In conclusion Valentines Day is the worst holiday evar!

Disclaimer: This post was written with the assumption of a heterosexual relationship. If you are in a homosexual relationship, replace the feminine words with their masculine equivalents or vise versa.

Superbowl Monday

2006-01-30T15:18:00.000-06:00

We as a country need to come together and pass a bill stating that Superbowl Monday will now be recognized as a national holiday.

How many people watch the Superbowl? 10 kajillion? Well, I'd venture to guess that 90% of those who watch the Superbowl would like to have the day after off. The day off would allow everyone to beable to enjoy the Superbowl more because they wouldn't have to worry about getting up for work the next day, the drive home after the party has ended or the inevidable hangover all day at work.

We could also use this holiday to celebrate sports and thier place in American History. Just like Christmas is filled with Christmas Joy and Thanksgiving is filled with turkey, Superbowl Monday could be filled with sports and the activity of sports. They say everyone's too fat these days, well here's a holiday which promotes getting up off the couch and onto a field.

Ok some critics say we already have too many holidays, we don't need any more. Ok, fine. Get rid of Columbus day. It's a horse shit holiday anyway. Hell, Columbus didn't even discover America. All he did was take a wrong turn on the way to India. Let's get rid of a holiday that makes no sense and replace it with Superbowl Monday a holiday that makes perfect sense.

I encourage everyone to contact their congressional representative, local newspaper, TV stations and that guy who's always yelling shit on the corner and get the word out. Superbowl Monday the newest national holiday!!!

Hey Dipshit you got something in your ear

2006-01-27T13:26:00.000-06:00

We've all seen these morons walking down the street. They're the ones who are always occupied with things going on anywhere other than where they are. They're the kind of people who have that Borg like bluetooth cordless headset on their head at all times.

Not only are we so damn busy we NEED to talk to someone NOW, but now we're too lazy to even hold a phone up to our ear. Soon they will develop a "hands-free" headset that is implanted just under the skin of our ear which will directly connect to our brain. Then our assimilation into the collective will be complete.

We as a society need to hang up the phone and take a look around. There's so much going on in our environment, only most are too busy jaw flapping on the phone to notice. Try this, leave your cell phone at home one day and see how much of the world you notice. You might just like it.

Get ready to ROCK!!!

2006-01-25T11:53:00.000-06:00

with Guitar Hero

Yeah this game fucking rocks!!! I haven't had this much fun playing a video game since I bought the fishing controller for Dreamcast. If you are a hard core gamer or not, this game is definately one you have to at least give a try. Everyone who's been over to play it loves it and wants to come over and play it again.

Do yourself a favor, get this game, strap up and rock out!!!

Soup Spoon vs. Regular Spoon

2006-01-03T07:47:00.000-06:00

Is this even a battle? There's no way that a regular spoon could even compare to a soup spoon. Soup spoons are sooooo much better than a regular spoon I don't even know why they still make regular spoons. A soup spoon can do everything just as good as a regular spoon and in some cases it can even do it better. Think about it. What do you use a spoon for? Cereal? You can get a bigger and better scoop with a soup spoon. What about stuff like mashed potatoes or corn? A soup spoon is the better choice because if the ease of scooping motion. Ice Cream? Soup spoon. Don't even make me mention soup and how the soup spoon was made for eating that.

The bottom line is that the regular spoon will never even compare to the soup spoon. They aren't even in the same league.

The coming and going of age

2005-12-19T08:40:00.000-06:00

You finally turn 28
no girl so you still masterbate
nothings changed but your underwear
and even that might be rare
the game with no end they call everquest
in that chair you've made your nest
another year you've turned an age
your belly looks like it can be checked with a gauge
the older you get the smarter you ain't
i remember the younger schlueter he was a saint
the devilman you've become you created a demon
you think your the smartest guy I know, awake you be dreamin
for you are closer to the end then the beginnin
for the race of life you are not winnin

-Randy Lee

Bus Ridin' Bitches

2005-12-15T14:09:00.000-06:00

If you've ever rode the bus, you'll know what I'm talking about here.

Busses are set up with 4 seats in every row. 2 on 1 side 2 on the other. This leaves an inside and outside seat on each side. Now if you want to find a bus ridin bitch it's easy. She's the bitch who sits on the inside seat with noone in the ouside seat. Why she doesn't scoot her stuck up ass to the outside seat so that others who get on after her can sit in that seat is beyond me. It's like she's scared of people or something. Well then why in the hell is she on public transportation? If you ride public transportation and are scared to sit next to someone, you'd better re-evaluate your life choices. Because you are some stupid sob.

I've always wanted to be that guy who asks to sit in the outside seat and make her stand up, move over and let you through. Take that bus ridin bitch!

Enlighten Others

2005-10-27T10:20:00.000-05:00

I have created a web forum for team*josh to ~~begin~~ continue our world domination.

If you have something to say here's the place to say it.

http://sadistikal.10.forumer.com/viewforum.php?f=1

Schluetertoberfest Challange

2005-10-20T13:45:00.000-05:00

team*josh has issued a challange to TEAM*JESS. team*josh will be able to drink more beer at thier Schluetertoberfest than TEAM*JESS at their Schluetertoberfest.

This will prove the superiority of team*josh and once again put TEAM*JESS to shame.

more updates to come after the humiliaion of TEAM*JESS...

Once again TEAM*JESS was put in it's place as the team*josh Schluetoberfest was a hell of a time. This will have to become a yearly tradition, hopefully TEAM*JESS will be around long enough to see the next Schluetoberfest.

Country Music Is Worse Than Hurricanes

2005-09-13T13:40:00.000-05:00

Country music has to be the worst thing to ever happen to music. The lyrics are horrible, the music has no feeling, the creators of this music have no talent and above all when you listen to it you get stupider.

If you disagree with me, you have listened to too much country and therefore are too stupid to realize the truth.

In other news, it's Johnny Cash Week! So load up some Cash and listen to a legend

Oil: The Wave of the Past

2005-09-02T08:29:00.000-05:00

Ok let's pull our collective heads out of our asses and work towards alternate fuel sources. Oil has been the reason for pollution, wars and bad feather days for numerous penguins. What we need is reasearchers working twards renewable resources as the major fuel source for our transportation.

One major hurdle we will have to get over is the fact that right now the oil barrons have all the money and with that money they can control congress. So our governmental help is out. Especially because of all the morons who vote based on political party rather than voting for the people who have the same stance on issues that they do.

The technology is there for us to use other fuels, such as ethonal. It's made from corn, it's made in the US, it will work if we want it too. The only problem is the big wig oil people who have control of this country won't ever let a fuel like that become popular. Because then the farmers would be getting all the money and they would be left with just a few billion.

I can't wait to see the day when the oil runs dry and the oil barrons are the ones sitting around in overalls and a straw hat, while a farmer drives his tractor in a new suit.

My thoughts on females who think marrage is the ultimate goal

2005-07-21T14:17:00.000-05:00

1) what's your hurry?
2) you don't need to be in a relationship to be successful
3) getting married isn't like winning a race.
4) Your putting yourself through this, so if you don't like it quit doing it.
5) relationships have nothing to do with doing things right or wrong.It's mostly all luck.
6) it's a struggle for you because you're looking for one. Just beyourself and be happy with yourself and a relationship will find you.
7) quit being such a fucking moron
8) be happy with what you got, not with what you want
9) chances are life would be worse in a marrage.

Racism

2005-07-06T14:18:00.000-05:00

All racists should shoot themselves in the head and rid this world of thier idiocy.

Gay Enticement

2005-06-24T13:21:00.000-05:00

I know this one girl.

Went out with a guy, they break up, turns out he's gay.
Has this other guy who likes her, turns out he was a gay man whore.
Has a brother, he's not gay, but really happy all the time. Almost too happy

One guess as to who this is..........

Down with TEAM*JESS

Work Casual Dress Code

2005-06-16T14:47:00.000-05:00

As this country grows and the business place matures, we have become less concerned about outside appearance as opposed to the quality of the employee. People have realized that it doesn’t take a suit and tie to do a quality job. Therefore I propose that the office move to a dress code that is more fitting for our times. I propose that we switch the dress code from business casual to work casual. A change that would improve our work environment, work quality, and work production.
I’m am proposing this new dress code because I feel it is more important for the employee to wear comfortable attire in the workplace so that they can keep their mind on the task at hand. Instead of having to check the mirror and constantly worry about how they look, they would be able to relax and complete their work. This would also contribute to a more relaxed work environment that centers on the job we are here to do. The office would be a friendlier place to go to which would raise the morale of the office. People would enjoy waking up in the morning and coming in to the office. On the same note a change in the dress code comes at no expense to the office. So this improvement in the environment, quality and production is free.
Another reason I propose this new dress code is because it would be less expensive for employees to not have two sets of clothes at home. Instead of having to maintain a work set of clothes and a casual set of clothes we would only have to maintain the casual set of clothes. For those employees who live pay check to pay check this would be a quasi raise for them. Also, on a whole a casual wardrobe is cheaper to purchase. Employees would save money in that respect also.
A casual dress code would also enhance the work experience for those who have to do physical labor. Employees who have to crawl around under desks, lift boxes, carry stuff around and/or rearrange furniture a casual dress code would make those aspects of our job more enjoyable. A more durable material for our clothing would be better suited to do the physical aspects of our job.
There are some concerns about a casual dress code that should be noted and dealt with. One of which is where do we draw the line on what is appropriate and what isn’t. I feel that people should be able to wear what is comfortable to them as long as it doesn’t affect their job or the job of anyone else around them. All attire under the current business casual dress code will be acceptable under the new policy. In addition jeans will be added to what is accepted. The jeans must not have holes in them, must be clean and must fit properly. Also t-shirts will be added to what is accepted. T-shirts must not contain any profanity, suggestive material and must be clean with out holes. Common sense should be used when selecting attire appropriate for work. If there is a doubt about the appropriateness of the attire, it is best off to choose something else to wear. Supervisors are responsible for the employee’s attire and reserve the right to send an employee home without pay for the day.
Another concern may be that because of a casual dress code people won’t take work seriously. I believe that if a casual dress code allows someone to be a less affective employee, the problem is not with the dress code it is with the employee. Either that employee needs more motivation or maybe they aren’t happy with their job in the first place in which case it is probably better they move on.
Some might say that others will think of this office as a less professional office. The main goal of this office is to get the job done. It is not to hide behind a certain type of clothing and do just enough to get by. A casual dress code may improve our work output which is why we are here in the first place. I’d rather have a casual dress code and accomplish more than have a business casual dress code and accomplish less. In the end our office is always portrayed by the quality of our work and not the quality of our clothes.
I believe a casual dress code would improve this office immensely. The office would be a more enjoyable place to work and improve our quality of service. This change comes at no expense and the results would be noticed immediately. An office with a friendly work environment with a high quality of service is just a casual dress code away from becoming a reality.

A Carpenter Without a Hammer

2005-06-13T11:19:00.000-05:00

Have you ever seen a carpenter who can't use a hammer? A mechanic who can't use a wrench? A bartender who can't figure out how to use a tap? Of course not. And if you did, they wouldn't be employed for too long. So why is it we have people who work in offices who can't figure out how to use a computer. 90% of their job is done on a computer yet they lack the basic skills in using one.

If your job centers around using a computer you should have some basic skills. Such as:

copy and paste
click and drag
the difference between a monitor and the actual computer
They keyboard must be plugged in to work
Excel documents will not show up when you search from them in word when "Files as type:" is sec to .doc
etc.

A computer is a valueable tool used to raise the efficiency and quality of work in an office. It's amazing that we allow people to stay in a job that centers around using a computer who only use it to 1% of it's potential.

TEAM*JESS

2005-05-20T11:48:00.000-05:00

This Blog has been created in order to further the destruction of TEAM*JESS.

Soon the world shall see through the farse that is TEAM*JESS!!!