Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Simplify Your Life

Have you ever went to one of those Chinese Buffets, then at the end of the meal, when your bill comes, they give you a fortune cookie? Yeah it's a magic time in a person's life. There sitting before you is a cookie with a tiny piece of paper inside that holds your fortune!

Recently, something amazing happened to me. I got the same fortune twice. Yeah, no kidding. The exact words 2 separate cookies. What, don't believe me? Here's photographic evidence:

So this obviously must be a sign from the Cookie Gods. So I started to think about it. In many ways I have tried to live a simple life and the rewards have been great. Take for example my hair. It used to be somewhat longer. Well one day I was out playing Basket Ball with my bro and my hair kept getting in my eyes. So I went in the house and shaved it off. I shaved it off for a simple reason, by the benefits soon became much more aparent. I no longer had to comb my hair in the morning. Meaning I could sleep in longer, When I wore my stocking cap I didn't have to make sure all my hair was underneat it and not sticking out in some odd way, I went through less shampoo. All of these things make life so much easier and all because I simplified my life by cutting my hair.

Another example. Do you ever go to someone's house and see a lot of dishes, silverware, etc. piled up by the sink? There's an easy solution to that problem. Simplify your life. Only have 1 plate, 1 fork, 1 spoon, 1 etc. Then whenever your done making and eating the meal, simply wash the 1 set of stuff you have and you're done. I garuntee you'll never have a pile of dishes ever again. A great reward for simplifing your life.

This fortune can even relate to some of the more complicated things in life, like relationships. Think about it. What's the simplest? Don't be in a relationship. Remember back when you were a young kid growing up watching cartoons? Remember how simple life was back then? What's the difference between then and now? One of the big things is as people grow older they introduce a foreign element in to thier lives. A significant other. Now not only do they have to take care of themselves, they have to watch their back so as they take care of themselves they don't piss the thier significant other off, all while at the same time taking care of someone else. Basically it creates a whole shitload of problems. Which leads us to 1 conclusion. If you simplify your life by not being in a relationship, you will have a lot less problems and therefore be rewared with a lot more time to watch cartoons.

Life is simple, it's the choices we make that complicate it.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

V Day Bullshit

Yeah, so I've pretty much had enough of this crap. This has got to be the worst holiday of all holidays. Now if you can keep up with this rant, great, if you can't tough shit.

  • In theory it's a day for a couple to celebrate their love, but it's become a day when the females get pampered, wined and dined. Since when does love mean that the male has to spend money, time and energy on his companion? It should be a day where both spend equal amounts of time, money and energy on each other. It's getting to be more lopsided than weddings.
  • Think about it, what's the color of the holiday? Pink. How many guys you know like the color pink? How many girls like pink? Case closed it's a female's holiday.
  • Since I'm on this issue anyway. How many times have you heard the expression "her special day" when someone is talking about a wedding? Total bullshit. It should be "their special day".
  • It makes some who are not in relationships lonely. Ok, so now not only do they have to deal with the everyday pressure society has put on them, but now they have to go through a whole holiday season that emphasizes it. Who the fuck ever decided you have to be in a relationship to be happy anyway? In everything I've experienced, seen and heard the relationship will never work if both individuals aren't happy with themselves. With all this pressure to hurry into relationships, no wonder so many people get divorced. People have to live with themselves before they can live with others.

In conclusion Valentines Day is the worst holiday evar!

Disclaimer: This post was written with the assumption of a heterosexual relationship. If you are in a homosexual relationship, replace the feminine words with their masculine equivalents or vise versa.