Thursday, July 30, 2009

Silly Politicians

Instead of spending all this time on health care, why don't they tackle some real issues. Like tipping. Every day Americans go to a restaurant and have no idea if they are tipping enough, not enough or too much. It's time to give the whole system an overhaul. When the average American goes out to eat, the price on the menu should be the price they pay. Instead we are stuck in a perpetual conundrum trying to figure out how much 10% of the bill is, wait should it be 15%? Or maybe 20%? If I tip too little the server is going to hate me and think I'm cheap. If it's too much the others will feel guilty for not tipping enough. Why is it percentage based anyway. If I get a burger and fries for $5 and the guy next to me gets a golden steak for $1,000 should my tip be $1 and his be $20 even though we had the exact same service?

The current system is fucked and I think it's time for the govenment to do something useful for a change and fix it!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Snowball 3

I have a plant, It's name is Snowball 3

I started as one leaf, now it's 3
Soon it will be as big as a tree

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Behold Quadzilla!

What do you do when you have this sitting on your counter?

Feed them to Quadzilla!

'zilla in action

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Merry Christmas!

Finally put up my tree at work!

My tree even has lights this year!!!

Decorations include: green Bat, Piston from a small engine, landscaping spike, Jagermeister bottle, glow in the dark skull, corona ornament, red pine cone and candy cane. It's all topped off with a home made star! Some of the things hanging out near the tree are a white elephant, The Grinch and a pair of lederhosen that hop around.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

National Bitch Day

In honor of TEAM*JESS, I would like to formally declare November 8th as National Bitch Day. This day will be honored by celebrating the bitches in our lives.

That one person at work who's always in a bad mood. Today is the day you walk by and say, "Hi! Happy Bitch Day!" The cashier who has never once smiled or tried to be nice, "Good morning, Happy Bitch Day!" I have a feeling Snoop will be a busy man today. "Happizzle Biatch Day!" He's got tons of bitches. I also think that this will be a big day in the homosexual communities. Lots of bitches there. "You Bitch! Happy Bitch Day!"

So get out there and enjoy the bitches that make our lives exciting and miserable all at once! This is their day so let them have it!

Monday, November 05, 2007

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Some Things Should NEVER Happen!

Just as a parent should never have to bury their child. There are a few things in everyone's life that should never happen. This weekend one of those things happened to me. The bar I frequent closed it doors for the last time. The bar where I've spent the past few years for happy hour has shut down. The bar where I've spent countless hours deveoping relationships with some great people is no longer in business.

Old Chicago in Downtown Minneapolis is gone. My name will no longer be on the wall at a bar. 4 tours will be all I complete. The only consolation is that I got our mug.

On the mug you will see 4 plaques from me and 2 other regulars at happy hour and 1 each from 2 who join us whenever possible. All together representing over 1500 beers drank. The mug also has the signatures of all the people we got to know over the years. Of all the things I'm going to miss at Old Chicago, I will definately miss the people the most. They're the ones turned going to happy hour after work from a good time into a great time!

RIP Old Chicago

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

The SOB Hit Me!

So, I'm just hanging out at home on a friday night when I get a phone call. It's my bud. The vehicle he's in broke down about a mile down the road at a gas station from my house. So, I figure what the heck, I'll go help him out.

My roommate lets me use his new truck to head down there. I pull in to the gas station and notice a white Cadillac Escalade pull into a parking spot rather quickly. "dude must be in a hurry to get a pack of smokes" I think. Then I proceed to drive behind him on my way to where my bud is. Then all of the sudden the Escalade's back up lights come on and the dude driving HAMMERS on the gas. I tried to accelerate past him quick, but to no avail, SMACK right in the back of the new truck.

My bud, his bro and their friend were all witnesses along with some guy at a gas pump who came over and told me,"I saw the whole thing, let me know if you need anything."

Got the info from the Escalade and my roommate is handling the phone calls. I had to talk to an insurance person giving my statement on what happened. Here's the kicker, the insurance person said that normally in gas station accidents they try to split the fault 70/30 or 80/20.

What the FUCK?! This dude didn't look behind him and hit the gas and I could be 20% at fault. FUCK THAT! It's 100/0. What kind of corrupted industry could say it's someone's fault for being hit by some jack ass who doesn't look where he is going?! Oh yeah, the insurance industry. Sucking money out of people each month for years upon years, then when it comes time to pay out, they don't want to. Hey fuckers, I pay you well over $1,000 a year in vehicle insurance alone and you're too fucking cheap to basically give me my money back. Fuck you and your horse. Some day karma's going to come back and kick your ass.