Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Don't Spam Me!

Background: I'm our class president and our 10 year is this year and have been working on the planning of the reunion. Ok, So I get this email today:

Greetings Hutchison Class of 96!
My name is Spam Lady with Reunion Makers, Inc.
Can you believe it’s been 10 years since you walked the halls of Hutchison High? Its reunion time and Reunion Makers would like to help!
To get started is very simple. We need alumni for the Spirit Committee and someone to spearhead the effort. If you are interested in either of these opportunities, please contact me directly. My toll free number is 800-555-5555 or my e-mail address is
Removed for privacy@reunionmakers.com. The person who volunteers to be our official contact will be compensated with two (2) complimentary tickets to the Reunion Makers event and a free Gold Membership to Classmates.com. This package is valued at approximately $300.00.
Reunion Makers is a full service planning company and will handle every detail without taking the control away from you. What does that mean? We will do all of the time consuming work, while you make all of the fun decisions (i.e. where and when to have the event, what food is served, what songs are played, etc.). You will also have the choice of letting us coordinate one event (usually banquet style) or making a weekend of it and letting us plan a Friday Night Mixer and a Saturday Night Banquet. We do this for no money upfront. We make our money exclusively off of ticket sales, which means we are highly motivated to get as many people as possible there. For more information about the services we provide, contact me directly. Again, the toll free number is 800-555-5555 and my e-mail address is
Removed for privacy@reunionmakers.com.
We look forward to hearing from you.

I immediately reply:

We are already planning our reunion and would appreciate it if you would send out a 2nd email to all the people from Huchinson High School Class of '96 telling them that the reunion is being planned already and if they have any questions to email me.

Also, any further email regaurding reunion should be approved by me before being sent out to my class. We do not appreciate spam!

Thank you,

Class President

Also at that time I sent out an email to all my classmates:

Hey Class! I just got this spam from some bitch and wanted to let everyone know it's bull shit.

Then approximately an hour later an email sent to my classmates again from Spam Lady:

Greetings Hutchinson Class of 96!

Reunion Makers would like to apologize for any confusion our previous marketing e-mail may have caused. We were trying to get a jump start on the 2006 reunion season, but the dedicated members of your class beat us to it!

There is already an event being planned for your 10 year reunion. RJoe, class president is already in the planning stages of your reunion. RJoe's e-mail address is

Again, we apologize for any confusion our previous e-mail has caused and wish your class the very best at your upcoming reunion.

LMAO!!! How about that?! There was actually a response from Spam Lady sent out to what I would beleive is my whole class. I have a renewed sense of hope for the world.

Another thing that was nice about this is that she most likely sent the email to everyone registered at classmates.com I bunch of addresses I previously didn't have access too since our high school has it's own alumni site (http://www.hutchtigeralumni.com).

Thursday, March 02, 2006

I Need a Gay Sugar Daddy

yep, you read that right, I need a gay sugar daddy. Someone to fund my various endevors. Like if I need a case of beer, he could buy it for me. Or if I was hungry, he could buy me a pizza. Or if I wanted a new motorcycle, he could buy it for me. How awesome would that be. Never to worry about finances again. If I need something, I could just ask my gay sugar daddy to get it for me.

Which makes me think of the other thing I need in my life. A pregnant wife (I'm not sure how I could keep her in a perpetual state of pregnancy, but some smart doctor might). Yeah, someone to bring me to the bar and sober cab me home. If she wanted to hang out while I was at the bar it would be optional. It's not like I'm going to tell my sober cab to leave and come back when I'm hamnerd.

Life would be perfect with these two people by my side. Just think someone to buy you beer and someone to drive you home after you've had too much. Well, except for the whole gay thing. And a wife isn't exactly on my to-do list either.